(Originally published on 29th January, 2007)

1. One or two word phrases which sum up entire groups of contemptible people or their habits, eg. ‘rednecks’, ‘Kappa slappers’, ‘Swear-hili’.
2. The way several-day-old balloons quickly deflate with a gentle squeeze.
3. Girls who are from the 50s, and are really ugly, but they don’t realise, because they’re from the 50s.
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(Originally published on 25th October, 2001)

1. Electricity pylons – utterly and quintessentially man-made objects, supplying modern civilisation’s most distinctive and vital resource, and dominating country skylines in testimony to our supremacy.
2. BBC2 weatherman Daniel Corbett – a man who loves the weather, and loves telling you about the weather.
3. Mint Aero Drinks – thick, creamy, sweet, minty and chocolatey, with a colour like comic-book toxic waste, and a taste that steals your soul.
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